Origins: Carlisle Cullen
by fictionreader27
Summary: Starting when Carlisle is 18 this story goes on to tell how he bacame a vampire and the experences he had. It tell's of the friends and enemies  he made up until he found and changed the other Cullen's. Please review.
1. Chapter 1

Twilight is not mine I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p><span>1. Innocent<span>

**1658**

The shouting of the mob and the heat of their torches made my heart throb painfully; I felt just as sick as I always did before an execution. I did not like to watch the men and women my father had accused of being witches, werewolves and vampires burnt at the stake, mostly because I knew the people he accused were innocent. My father was quick to judge, and he saw even the slightest abnormality as a sign that someone was a demon.

I could hear the sound of horse's hooves, and the wheels of a carriage beating against the cobblestone path that led to the square where this mob was gathered. The carriage came into view as it rounded the last curve of the path. The carriage stopped a few feet from the mob; the back of the carriage was a cage, reinforced with iron bars. Through them I could see a man, chained and kneeling, praying. My father went to the door and unlocked it; he harshly he pulled the man from the carriage and dragging him through the mob of shouting villagers towards the pyre. The man cried, and pleading with the crowd trying to convince them of his innocents, as they tied him to the stake in the middle of the wood pile, but they refused to listen.

As I listened to my father rattle off the list of crimes he accused this man of, every part of me wanted to start running in the other direction, before they set fire to the innocent man. I wanted to get far enough away so that I wouldn't be able to hear his dying screams, or smell the stench of burning flesh. However, I didn't dare move. My father thought that I was weak because it hurt me to watch monsters burnt at the stake; and even thought I was now eighteen I was certain he would beat me if I left before the accused demon was executed.

As my father's speech came to a conclusion he turned abruptly for his torch. As he stepped back he flung the burning wood in to the center of the mound. Flames engulfed the wood, licking up quickly towered the bound, screaming man. Blood curdling screams echoed in my ears and made my head hurt. I shut my eyes in a desperate attempt to ignore what was happening but it was a wasted effort. I could feel the heat from the fire and the scent of burning flesh was so thick in the air that it was hard for me to breath. I started to feel dizzy, my ears started to rig, as scream after scream echoed out from the pyre; I wanted to vomit as I struggled to take breath after breath of the stench filled air. A thick sheen of sweat came over me; I wiped the back of my hand across my forehead, but it was of little help. I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and looked up into the face of Peter. He was my closest friend and he knew how it pained me to watch executions. The nausea and dizziness grew more intense, my legs shook as my body started to feel weak. I leaned against Peter for support and concentrated on keeping the blackness from coming over me. Just when I could bare it no longer, the screams became quieter and less frequent, and the heat of the fire became less intense. As more time passed the pyre became nothing more than smoldering ash.

"Let us pray," my father said to the crowd after the accused vampire had been killed "For we have done God's work tonight by killing a demon." The crowed fell silent as my father recited the same prayer he always said after demon executions. I did not bow my head in prayer like the rest because I knew the man we had just executed had been innocent. If it had been a true vampire we had burned here tonight I would have happily joined my father in the execution but I knew better than him and I did not see demons where they did not exist, unlike my father. The praying ended, and the crowd started to disperse; my father walked up to me, and without a word from either of us we started off towards his waiting carriage.

It was a silent ride home and though my strength had returned I still felt slightly nauseated; the stench of burnt flesh hung in the air and clung to my clothes. It was early fall, and now that we were away from the flames of the mobs torches and the execution fire, the chilly night air was making me shiver.

Our carriage pulled up in front of the parsonage. Though I have lived there my whole life with my father, I never thought of it as my home. Through my entire childhood my father always made me feel as though I had to earn my place as his son and, by extension, a place in his home; and since I was always disappointing him I never felt as though I belonged there.

As soon as my father pulled the horse to a halt he jumped out of the carriage and went to unlock the door to the parsonage. I got out of the carriage and took our horse around the parsonage and left it in its small stable. When I made my way back around to the front I found that my father was still standing in the doorway. As I approached him, he turned to me and struck me across the face so hard I fell back onto the cold ground. The pain in my face stunted me and for a minute; all I could do was lay on the ground holding my hand over my nose and mouth. When I finally pulled my hand away from my face it was covered in blood. Then I looked up at my father; his arms were crossed tightly over his broad chest as he glared down at me. I studied his face for a moment; his mouth was set even deeper into his permanent frown. His light blue eyes were as cold as ice, though that was the way they usually were. I knew he was waiting for me to stand up, and so, never moving my eyes from his, I stood, staggering slightly.

"You are a disappointment Carlisle." He said through clenched teeth.

"And what have I done wrong in your eyes this time, father?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound strong.

"You do not care to execute the demons that walk our streets, taking innocent lives!" He retorted angrily. So he had noticed my pain during the execution.

"I do not care to execute the innocent; that man was not what you though he was and he did not deserve to be executed like a demon." I countered, my voice getting stronger as I spoke.

"You are still as ignorant as a child Carlisle, you will learn to do the work of God and you will learn to kill these demons where ever they exist!" He shouted at me.

"You do not even know how to do the work of God. You are so blinded by hatred for these monsters you see demons where there are none." Then, just as I expected, my father struck me again, I staggered back but managed to keep my footing this time, despite the searing pain around my eye and the right side of my face. Before I could recover, my father grabbed me by my jacket and pulled me close to him, so we were face to face.

"You are the ignorant one Carlisle, you are the one who cannot see these demons for who they are; you fall for their human disguises and fake innocents, but you will learn!" My father shouted at me then threw me backward; I stumbled and fell on the ground again. My father glowered at me, his cold eyes burning into mine, and then turned inside the parsonage; shutting and locking the door behind him. I picked myself up off the ground and started off down the street towards Peter's house.

Peter and I have been friends since we were children so he knew my father had a temper and that I was usually on the receiving end of it when I disappointed him. He would help me clean my wounds and give me a place to sleep tonight. As I walked I pressed the sleeve of my jacket into my lip and nose to stop the blood that I could feel trickling down my chin and dripping on to my clothes, staining them.

Peter's house was only two streets away from my father's. As I walked I watched my breath fog in front of me, and though the cold night air had bothered me earlier, now I found that it really helped ease the throbbing pain in my face. When I arrived at Peters I knocked softly on the door just in case he and his family had already fallen asleep. When Peter answered he looked at me for a long moment shaking his head slowly.

"Oh, Carlisle," he said "how have you offended him now?" He didn't have to ask where my injuries had come from. It was natural for him to assume my father was responsible, just as every other time I had shown up bruised or bloody on his door step.

"We just have a difference of opinions on how to correctly identify a demon."I said, my lip barley twitching into a smile. He smiled and stepped aside, allowing me to come in. He led me to his room where he brought me clean cloth and water, and helped me tend to my wounds. He and his younger brother used to share this room before his brother died of pneumonia three years ago. Peter's family still had his younger brother's bed, saved for the occasional visitor, such as myself.

I laid down in bed and sighed heavily; my wounds still throbbed but even that could not compare to the horrible throbbing in my heart. I wondered how my father could be so blinded by hatred that he could kill an innocent man. I thought of his words during our last conversation. I have always known that I would someday take his place; that I would be charged with finding and destroying the witches, werewolves and vampires that haunted our community. I did not know if I wanted that responsibility. One the one hand it would be a good thing; I would be able to protect people, and I would make sure that no innocent person was ever burnt at the stake. Then again I was afraid to have that responsibility, what if I became my father, and started to see demons where there were none? No, that will never happen, I thought to myself. Even when I'm put in charge of finding monsters, I would never become like my father.


	2. Chapter 2

Twilight is not mine I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p><span>2. Evidence<span>

**1662**

The sun shone brightly over the city and the mid summer's heat beat down on me as I worked on repairing the broke door to my father's church. Over the week there were several large storms that damaged many buildings in this part of London, including the church and several homes of my friends. I wiped the sweat from my forehead as I fixed the last hinge on the church door; then I stepped back to admire my work.

"Perfect," I heard Peter say from behind me. I smiled as I turned to face him. "And just in time." he continued. I sighed and my smile faded. "Sorry," Peter said putting a hand on my shoulder; "I know you haven't been looking forward to this; but we should get inside before your father sees your tardiness as a lack of enthusiasm." I didn't respond; Peter and I turned and walked into the church. We made our way up the isles till we reached front, and took our seats.

As I sat there, while the church slowly filled with people, my stomach slowly twisted with unease. Today was the day that my father was going to announce to the entire congregation that I would be taking over the monster hunting crusades. My father had informed me of the new change a few days ago and I had dreading it ever since. I had confide my worry in Peter, so he knew how unenthused I have been for this day to come; and was doing his best not to remind me of it.

The church was full now and the bells rang out from the bell tower, announcing that it was noon. My father appeared through the back door of the church, dressed in his robes, and approached the pulpit. He began the service the way he always did. I listened as intently as I could but my attention was elsewhere. I had to continue to remind myself to take deep, slow, breaths so my nerves would not overwhelm me. The time seemed to pass much more slowly than it should have. Finally, the service was coming to a close, with no mention of me. However, before I had time to hope that my father had chosen not to appoint me just yet; he made his announcement.

"I am pleased to announce to the community that my son, Carlisle, will now be charged with finding demons in our midst." He said in a tone that only I recognized as mocking; he looked down on me as he spoke. Confused mumbles arose from those gathered around me; they all knew what my father thought of me, and his low tolerance for my past hesitance in executions. They must be baffled by his decision. I looked over at Peter who had a grim look on his face; we both knew the truth. We knew my father had done this to try and break my will. Ever since I saw that innocent man burnt at the stake four years ago I was constantly challenging him when he accused someone of being a werewolf, witch, or vampire. Now, as punishment, he saw fit to put me in charge of the demon crusades; a responsibility he knew I never wanted to have.

The service ended as my father said the closing prayer; slowly people started to exit the church. I met Peter at the door. I could still feel the pain on my face; perhaps he could see it because he said nothing as we walked. I was barley aware of the others, who gathered in small groups to talk about me. I looked up at the sun as I wondered how I would make this new position I was now in, into a good thing.

**1663**

As time went on I found that I actually found more pleasure in looking for demons among the community than I had originally thought possible. In this new position, I was able to protect the innocent. When someone came to me with a worry that there were monsters among us I could follow the evidence and see if it were truly a nightmarish creature or if someone's fears were just getting the better of them.

When I was appointed to this position a little over a year ago I knew my father had expected me to fail; and to be honest, I had also doubted my ability to prosper with this task. But to my surprise I was succeeding in a way that no one ever had before. In the year and four months that I have had this responsibility I had not executed a single person, because I had not found sufficient evidence that someone among us was a monster. This greatly upset my father; he had come to me numerous times calming to have found a demon among the community; but when I followed the evidence I could find nothing that prove his accusations.

It was mid fall now and the weather outside was terrible. The wind screamed against my father's house as I sat in his living room reading by candle light. We did not have many books, and I was currently reading my mother's favorite. Since she died giving birth to me I had never really know her, the only things I knew came from the few stories my father had told me. I was just finishing chapter nine when there was a frantic knock on the door. I immediately set my book aside and ran to answer it.

When I undid the lock and ripped the door out of my way I found Peter and Luke standing in the doorway. Their expressions were a mixture of shock, confusion, and overwhelming fear. They were breathing heavily, probably from running, and it took them a minute to catch their breath before they could explain what had happened. As I waited my stomach twisted with panic. I knew Peter and Luke very well, something truly horrible must have happened, for I had never seen them so shaken.

I looked up at the dense, grey sky. The cloud cover was so think it made noon look like twilight; that, mixed with the screaming of the wind through the city and the surrounding woods cast a very ominous gloom over the neighborhood. The sensation that we were being watched crept up on me. The wind outside was strong and made me shiver; I knew Peter and Luke had to be just as cold so I motioned for them to come in. I turned to follow them inside, shutting and locking the parsonage door behind me. Peter and Luke were still very visibly upset about whatever had brought them to me, so I turned to the stove to put on a pot of tea. I waited as the water heated over the fire, then poured three cups and took them into the next room.

"Alright, tell me what happened. I don't think I have ever seen the two of you quiet so shaken." I said as I handed them their cups.

"If you had seen what we just witnessed you would be shaken too, my friend." Peter answered gravely.

"What happened?" I asked again

"Luke and I were out hunting when the wind started to pick up. We knew there was no chance of catching anything in the storm so we decided to return home. We were riding past the river, about half a mile outside of town when we found him." Peters face paled as he spoke.

"Found who?" I asked

"Adam. At first it looked like an animal attack, his throat was ripped from his body. But, as we examined him closer we found . . . something." Luke answered. When he spoke his voice was hollow and as I examined him more closely I realized that he was in much worse shock than Peter; I understood why. Adam had been his very closest friend; they were so close they were almost brothers. Sympathy for his loss swelled in my heart, but his words had left me with nagging suspicion in my stomach.

"What . . . exactly . . . did you . . . find?" I asked, my voice shaking slightly when I spoke. Peter and Luke shared an apprehensive look.

"There were some very interesting bites on his body." Peter answered. I felt sick at his words; every instinct in my body told me I knew what he was referring to but I had to force myself to ask.

"Interesting how?"I asked. Peter looked up into my eyes and his face full of horror.

"They didn't come from and animal, Carlisle. The bites appeared to be human." Peter said.

"They may have appeared human but you know that's not the truth! You know as well as I do what really killed Adam! There are vampires among us!" Luke suddenly shouted, slamming his fists down on the table and spilling his cup. Everything was silent for a minute; Luke's breath was heavy and uneven, then his bottom lip started to quiver and a tear fell down his cheek.

"It's alright Luke," I said as I reached out and put my hand on his shoulder. "If this truly was the work of a vampire we will find it and burn it. We will not let Adams killer escape." Luke nodded his head slightly. "We will stay here until the storm ends and the wind quiets down, then we will go out and I will examine the body. Luke," I said as I met his eyes "I will find whoever, or whatever did this." Luke took a deep breath and nodded again.

The storm did not quiet down until the next morning. As soon as the rain stopped and the first rays of sunlight start to shine over the horizon Peter, Luke, and I went to examine Adams body and bring it back to his family. Peter and Luke led the way, half a mile outside of town and down to the river. There by the bank, Adams body lay half buried in dead tree branches, about three feet from the water's edge. I looked over the body, trying to find evidence of a possible vampire attack and what I found made me sure we were dealing with a true demon.

The body was extremely pale, clearly drained of blood. The wound to his neck was the worst. His throat was torn open; the skin near the edge of the gaping wound was ripped and torn. There were several other bites along his body; two on his left wrist and another on the back of his right knee. There was no doubt in my mind that Adam had been killed by a vampire. I looked to Luke and Peter and nodded; they started wrapping his body in sheets. Then, they lifted him from the ground and started carrying him back in the direction of the town so his family could say goodbye to his body and buried him properly. I looked around the area one last time; trying to find any other evidence I may have missed. The forest seemed oddly ominous to me; with the possibility of a vampire hiding somewhere among it, it wasn't a mystery why. Clouds had started to fill up the sky and block the sun, making a gloom over the trees. The forest was relatively quiet as most animals were still recovering from last night's storm. There was one bird hidden somewhere among the trees that was chirping loudly, and a small bit of water was dripping out of the large sewer pipe that empted into the river about ten feet away. My eyes did one last sweep but there was nothing else, so I turned and followed Peter and Luke out of the woods. All the while planning on how I was going to catch this monster.

A month passed, and six more bodies showed up around the same area where Adams body had been found. I was so obsessed with find the vampire that I had not been sleeping well the past few weeks. The town was in a panic and my father was both angry over the killing and smug over the fact that I was failing. I had carefully documented every piece of evidence that I had found both on, and around the bodies but I could not find anything that connected the murders. I pressed my fingers into my temple as I looked over my notes again, trying to find something, anything that connected the attacks. I sighed heavily as I threw the papers down onto the table. I ran my hands through my hair as I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself.

"CARLISLE, CARLISLE." I heard my name shouted from outside the parsonage and then a sudden pounding on the door. I ran to answer it, when I opened the door Peter was standing there and I recognized all too well the frightened look on his face.

"Another one?" I asked; he nodded his head grimly. "Who?" I asked.

"The Johnson sisters." He said, his voice shaking. My heart sank at the news; the twins were only seven years old. I clenched my jaw as anger swept over me. I didn't care what it took; I had to kill this monster before it took anymore innocent lives.

"Show me where they were found." I said as I grabbed my coat and followed him out the door. As we walked we passed a covered sewer drain in the street. A small red stain caught my attention as we passed. I stopped in my tracks and looked at it more carefully. As I examined it I realized it was a blood smear, as if something bleeding had been dragged; the trail disappeared at the edge of the drain. I shook my head, and refocused my attention on the task in front of me. I had to run to catch up with Peter, and then followed him to where the bodies had been found. Just like with Adam I noticed that there was another sewer pipe that was open, and ended at the edge of the riverbank. Realization hit me hard as everything fell into place; I smiled, for I knew where this monster was hiding.

I helped Peter wrap the bodies and take them to their families then went to the street where I found the blood stain. I looked up at the surrounding buildings; my father's church was several streets away from here but the bell tower was clearly visible. I walked away quickly towards my father's home and packed a blanket and a small amount of food before I left for the church. I sat in the top of the bell tower watching the street below for a long time but nothing happened. The days light started to fade as night fell. People hurried off to their homes; soon, all was quiet in the town. Hours passed as I continued to wait. I waited and waited but still there was nothing then, a little past midnight, just as I was starting to tire and wanted to rest for the night, there was movement in the street below. The grate that covered the sewer was lifted and moved aside, and a hooded figure rose out of the opening. The creature stood and looked around itself; then two more, smaller figures rose from the sewer as well. The biggest figure, the first to emerge walked quickly off in the direction of the town square, it moved so smoothly it looked as if it were gliding; the other two quickly followed after it. Once they were out of my sight I let out a deep breath- I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath until that moment. For a moment I was unable to move, my muscles had frozen in place with fear, I took deep breaths, trying to relax and slow my frantic heart.

Once the fear had passed I felt the sudden urgency to get home; I wanted to inform my father of my discovery and create a plan to destroy the monsters but I didn't dear leave the bell tower. The vampires were out in the streets now, hunting for their prey. It would be foolish of me to head off for home and risk getting caught by the monsters. I waited and watched, and as I expected, they returned just before dawn. I knew it would be safe to walk the streets once I had seen them sink back down into the darkness of the sewers, out of harm from the suns burning light. I climbed down the tower and ran home just as I heard the church bells toll six.

I was out of breath when I reached home, but told my father about what I had seen. His cold eyes glinted with excitement at the prospect of killing the monsters that had plagued our town for so long. Together we spread the word around town, and before night fall, we had a mob formed. The mob gathered at the church and I told them where I had seen the monsters appear. I led them down through the street of London, to an ally across the street from the spot the vampires emerged from the other night. Some of us carried torches and others carried weapons, such as knives and pitchforks. We all stayed very quiet as we waited for the monsters to appear.


	3. Chapter 3

Twilight is not mine and I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p><span>3. Pain, Death, and Instinct<span>

**1663**

The mob and I were quiet; the only sound was the wind as it blew gently threw the street. The flames of our torches flickered in the breeze. We stood there for little over an hour, then, just like the night before, the grate was moved aside and the tall hooded creature emerged from the sewer, followed by the two smaller creatures.

My father shouted for us to start the chase and the whole mob and I ran forward towards the vampires. The instant the first vampire heard my father's shout it spun around to face us. Looking into his face stunned me; I didn't understand how a demon could be so beautiful. His features were perfect and his skin was the palest I had ever seen; his eyes were coal black, they stood out against his white skin. The creature looked at us for only a second; we had barely managed to take two steps towards him and the others, and then he wheeled around and started to run.

"Nos es instituo. Run meus frater." The creature shouted at the others two vampires, who turned abruptly and followed after it. I ran as fast as I could, we chased the creatures down two street, then turned and followed them as they ran down a third; my breath came faster and faster, my lungs ached, the muscles in my legs burned with effort. I was a good sixty feet ahead of the rest of the mob with Peter and two other men by my side. We were quickly gaining on the creatures as they turned down another ally, then the tallest vampire suddenly spun around. He moved so quickly his action was difficult for me to see. It was a blur as it turned and rush at me and the men by my side. He moved so quickly I had no time to move or think before he collided with me; his body was so hard, and he hit me with so much force, it fell as though I had run straight into a brick wall. In the same motion that the vampire collided with me, he turned and raked his fingers down my chest. The action threw me down and to the side. I lay gasping on the ground as my breath was crushed out of my chest. I watched the blood pool around me as I gasped desperately for air. I curled up on my side but was pulled sharply to the left and flung down on my back. I struggled but was pinned to the cold ground. The vampire was crouched over me and screamed in pain as I felt his razor sharp teeth cutting deep into my throat. The vampire griped me so tightly I was sure I head broken bones where his hand held me.

Just then, feeling the vampires' full strength and seeing his real speed I understood that we had never had a chance at destroying these creatures. When the others and I were chasing the vampires I thought that we were catching up to them, now I realized that they had just been trying to lead us away from the rest of the mob.

The vampire released me and fled faster than my mind could process. I looked around myself but it was hard for me to focus. My head spun, my ears rang, my vision shifted in and out of focus. Pain lashed through my body. But even worse than this, a horrible burn started in my throat. My eyes focused momentarily, and I took in my surroundings. Two other men lay bloody and lifeless in the street; a large pool of blood was formed around my own body as well.

"Carlisle, Carlisle! Come on we have to get you out of here! We have to get you help!" Peter's voice was frantic as he grabbed my arm and tried to lift me to my feet. I tried to speak to him but I chocked on my own blood. From the corner of my eye I saw a flash of white; the vampire grabbed Peter from behind and dragged him off, he screamed, but I lay helpless on the ground as I watched them disappear into the dark.

I tried to think but my mind was dizzy with pain. The fire in my throat grew more intense with each passing second, and, to my horror, started to spread to the rest of my body. I frantically padded at my throat to put out the fire, only to realize that there were no flames. I tried desperately to think but my head continued to spin. Then, just for a second, my mind was clear and I knew what I needed to do. I had to hide; I had to get away from here before my father returned to gathering the dead bodies and anything else the monster had touched, to burn them. It took everything I had not to scream as I managed to roll myself over so that I was laying on my stomach; then I started to crawl.

I dragged myself, as fast as I could using only my arms, out of the ally. The fire continued to spread, searing out from my throat to the rest of my body. Again I had to stop and concentrate every ounce of my will on repressing my screams. There was a throbbing pain in my arm where I was sure it was broken but that pain was just a minor irritation compared to the burning. I reached a set of doors that must lead to someone's cellar; they were unlocked so I pulled them open and pushed myself through, the door fell shut behind me as I tumbled down the stairs. I landed on my back on the damp floor, my chest ached as I tried to take a breath; just like my arm, there was a minor irritation in my chest where I thought I had some broken ribs from when the vampire collided with me.

Using all my strength I rolled over again and dragged myself over to a pile of rotting potatoes in the corner of the cellar. When I reached the pile I automatically started shoving potatoes out of my way until I made a hole in the rotting pile large enough to conceal my body; I shoved myself into the hole I had made, then pulled the potato's back over my body. When I was completely buried in the pile I clenched my teeth together as hard as I could to keep from screaming.

The pain was excruciating, it spread through my body and consumed every thought I had except the unbearable pain I was in. I would have done anything to end this pain, I would have ripped my own heart out if it meant the burning would end but I didn't move. I couldn't even flinch a muscle or I would start screaming. If I did that I knew someone would hear me, they would come to my aid and they would recognize me, then they would run to my father and I would be burnt at the stake just like so many others. Part of me thought that might be a good thing, it meant that I would die and would not have to endure this pain any longer; however, my need to survive, the same need that had forced me from the ally in the first place prevented me from doing so. I did not know how anyone could survive such a pain but somehow, here I was, surviving it. Then again maybe I hadn't survived; maybe I had died during the attack and I was in hell, though I did not know what I had done to deserve damnation. I tried to focus on something else, anything else, but the fire was all consuming and would not allow me to think or feel anything but the unbearable pain. I did not know how long I had been burning for, the fire made it impossible for me to keep track of time, when suddenly the fire started to fade from the very tips of my fingers and toes. It wasn't much, but to have that one little part of me released from the pain was the sweetest relief I could have ever imagined.

Then, very slowly, the pain started to recede all the way up my fingers and toes, up to my wrists and ankles, then to my elbows and knees, my hips and shoulders, my face, neck and stomach until the pain was gone from everywhere except my heart. Before I had time to feel relief or gratitude for the evaporation of pain from the rest of my body, the fire in my heart grew to such an intense burn that I didn't think such a pain could even exist. I lost control over myself, my body lurched and a scream bubbled in my throat; I managed to contain it before it turned into an audible sound. My heart beat violently the sound of it echoed in my ears; it sounded like it was beating faster than a horses' hooves at full run. My heart fought with the fire which seemed to grow hotter as my heart beat faster; and as my heart crashed against my chest one last time the fire disappeared. I held perfectly still as I waited to see if the burn would return, I hadn't realized that I wasn't breathing until I took a deep breath in. As the air rushed down my throat and into my lungs I could tell something wasn't right. The sound of the air filling my lunges was hollow, and it felt odd, almost as if my body didn't react to the oxygen the way it was supposed to. Then the stench of the rotting potatoes filled my nose and I jumped up out of the pile.

My speed shocked me, and as I looked around the room I felt shocked again. Everything was unbelievably clear. Every detail of the cellar was perfect and defined; my eyes could see even the smallest piece of dust and dirt in the dirty cellar. I took another deep breath trying to calm myself but a dry ache closed my throat. The dry ache turned into a throbbing pain that turned into a horrible burn; as I focused on it the burn got worse, and my mouth felt dry, as if I were thirsty. I felt sick as a horrible realization hit me; I understood instantly what was wrong with me. My heightened scenes, my speed and strength, and the burn in my throat, it all came together and I knew that the vampire we had been chasing had not only mauled me, but had changed me.

I felt sick and cold; I was absolutely repulsed by myself, I felt a new fire inside me and it was different than the fire of becoming a vampire or the fire in my throat. The fire was in my heart and it was the burning hatred I had for the vampire that had done this to me, hatred for myself, and for what I had become.

I stood motionless in the small cellar as wave after wave of hatred and grief came over me; but soon noise from the floor above me caught my attention. As I listened closer I could hear three heartbeats and three pairs of lungs breathing; I also heard footsteps as someone walked around upstairs. Part of me was drawn to the sounds, and to the humans they were coming from. I knew if I found them I could quench the burning in my throat. My mouth watered at the thought, but as quickly as the idea had come over me, absolute disgust overpowered it. I was so repulsed by the though, by the fact that I had even allowed it enter my mind, and by myself and what I had become that I was able to turn and dash up the stairs and out of the cellar doors.

I ran with blinding speed through the still sleeping city. I was unquestionably thankful that there were no humans around. The sound of the heartbeats were difficult enough to resist; I knew I would not have the strength to turn away from a human standing only a few feet from me. It was dark in most of the sky but near the horizon was starting to lighten as the sun began to rise. I ran from the city as fast as I could, I had to get away from the humans there before my thirst got the better of me. I reached the woods but did not stop; I pushed myself deeper and deeper into the forest. When I felt I had run far enough and was positive that no humans would be venturing this far out into the forest I finally stopped.

I looked around myself and saw amazing details of the forest I never knew existed before; the beauty of each individual leaf as they trembled slightly in the breeze. The way the dim light added beautiful tones and hues the trees, air, and ground. No detail was too tiny for me to see; but that could not hold my attention. My every though was drawn to the monster I had become. I hated what I was and I didn't understand why this had happened to me. I had always tried to live my life as purely as I could, I did everything in my power to avoid violence, and when I had been appointed to the demon crusades I never executed an innocent person; so I couldn't understand why I had been punished and forced to live an eternity as a monster, who's every instinct was to kill. Even though my body was exploding with strength, I felt weak; I fell to my knees in the middle of the forest, and dropped my face into my hands as I cried. My body was rocking with sobs but something was wrong, my eyes stung but no tears came to them.

As I cried tearless sobs I became aware of the sunlight, which was slowly becoming brighter all around me. Dark thoughts filled my mind; thoughts I would have never allowed myself to think when I was human. It was a sin to take one's own life, I knew that, but I knew it was the only way to end my monstrous existence. My father had always taught me that vampires could only come out and feed at night because they burned in the sun, and the sun was rising now. If I just stayed in this spot and waited for the light of the rising sun to reach me I would never have to go on living as this monster. I sat where I was for another twenty minutes, watching the light as it crept across the ground towards me. When the light was only millimeters from me I closed my eyes, after a another few minutes I felt the warm light on my skin; my body tensed the second I felt the heat, waiting for the burning or the sudden burst of flames that would release me from this life by ending my existence.

I braced myself but nothing happened, I could feel the warmth of the sun on my skin but that was it, it just felt warm and nothing else. My eyes flashed open and I examined myself, every spot that the light touched my skin was sparkling brightly, throwing off rainbow reflections like light off of diamonds. It was an amazing sight, I could not deny that, however it only made me clenched my teeth together in frustration. I bowed my head in defeat as I realized that the sun burning vampires was no more than a myth. I did not have time to feel anger at the discovery, my knew, quick mind was formulating many more plans and different possibilities to end this nonlife of mine. I jumped to my feet determined to find a way out of this immortal hell.

I started running east, I ran over fifty miles till I reached the North Sea. I stopped at the cliffs edge and looked down at the water below. From the cliff to the sea had to be a hundred and fifty foot drop; I watched the waves roll towards the shore until they disappeared beneath the cliff. I watched the waves' crash over the hundreds of jagged rocks below. I smiled to myself, then I threw myself over the edge; the drop to the water seemed much slower than it was supposed to be, but I knew that it was just because my mind worked faster now, and I was able to absorb everything in clear detail; then I plunged into the water. To a human the water would have felt ice could but I found that the temperature was quite comfortable. I had hoped the fall itself would kill me but I was instantly disappointed; so I didn't fight against the current. The waves pounded the surface of the water above me; rolling and twisting down into the water and back out to sea. I let the crashing waves pull me down to the ocean floor. I breathed in, filling my lungs with water. The sensation was uncomfortable but not painful like I thought it would be. To my horror I found that no matter how long I stayed on the ocean floor; and even though my lungs were now filled with water I still did not die.

Internally cursing and hating myself I swam quickly to the shore. When I came up on the beach I coughed all the water out of my lungs, then I lay back on the sand, trying to think of another way to take my own life.

Days turned into weeks and I tried everything I could think of to kill myself. I tried to jump form great heights again, and I tried every sort of weapon I could find; but nothing could penetrate my skin. I tried holding my breath until I died from lack of oxygen but after a few hours of not breathing I found that my body didn't need it to survive. I snuck into a small village one night when the humans were sleeping and went straight to the first church I could find. I had always believed, like my father, that if a vampire or any other sort of demon tried to enter hallowed ground that they would burst into flames; however, the second I set foot through the church doors I found that that was just another myth. Once inside the church I found a cross and pressed it into my chest, but I didn't feel even the slightest bit of pain or repelled in any way; I tried to drink holy water, and still, nothing happened.

The sun was beginning to rise and I ran from the village. I could not be caught around humans; I knew I would not have the strength to resist kill them if I encountered one. I had not drunk so much as a single drop of blood since the moment I had awoken from my transformation and I was determined to keep things that way. I was fearful of how long I could resist killing; the longer I went without feeding the worse the burning in my throat became, and as days turned into weeks, I could feel my will deteriorating. I knew I would not have the will to resist for much longer; my throat burned, my stomach twisted into knots, and every though I had slowly became consumed by the thirst. My will would leave me soon and when it did I knew the only chance I would have would be if I could not find humans. I knew I had to get away from human populations; further away then I was now. I had to go to a place where there was no possibility for a human to stumble across me. I turned and ran deep into the forest; wondering for days till I finally came across a small cavern near the bottom of a sheer mountain side. I crawled inside it, curled up, and waited, hoping I could starve to death.

I didn't know how much time had passed, but it must have been months. It was easy to keep track of time at first, but as time passed, and I went longer without feeding, every agonizing second seemed to drag on forever. My mind was spinning and I felt dizzy, it was hard for me to be aware of what was happening around me. I grew weaker and the burn in my throat turned into a searing fire. The horrible burn in my throat was the only thing I could think about, and as I thought about it, it hurt even more. I lay in agony for days unending, praying every second for death.

Then, in the forest, I heard the slow thud of hooves as a small heard of animals moved through the trees. As they approached I could hear their hearts pounding in their chests, the rush of blood through their veins. . .

It was like a dream, like I had been imagining it. The moment I heard the hearts of the animals I took off in that direction without thinking. Where my strength came from I did not know, but I took the animals down one by one. My teeth sank through their thick hides like a hot knife through butter, and once I had cut deep into their body their blood poured into my mouth. I eagerly gulped the blood down; it soothed the burn in my throat that had tortured me for so long. I enjoyed feeding on them, I enjoyed everything about it; the sound of their heartbeats as they pounded harder with fear, the heat of their blood as I drank, the thud of their pulse under my lips, and the chase, as I hunted after those who had scattered. When I had finished killing, and the entire herd of deer lay dead, I could feel that my body was once again exploding with strength. As I stood in the forest, soaked in the blood of the deer and the looking at their lifeless bodies, I finally knew that the way out of this curse was not death; I just had to learn a new way to live. I had to fight against my natural instinct. I had to try to change the very nature of what I was. In that moment I knew that I was going to find away to force myself to live without human blood.


	4. Chapter 4

Twilight is not mine and I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p><span>4. Purpose<span>

**1670**

I sat in a small shack of a house as I turned a leather bound book over and over in my hands. I was sinking further into my depression that had started seven years ago, when I was changed. I looked over to my left, at the three small stacks of books I had collected over the past seven years; then looked down at the book in my hands. I had already read it many times and I had every line of every page memorized. I sighed as I set the book down on the small table beside me.

The table, the book, the house I was sitting in right now, none of it was mine; nothing belonged to me, not even the clothes I wore. I had taken the clothes and the book from two dead men I found on the side of a small road through the forest when I was hunting one day. Each of the men had a bullet hole in their chest and more of their belongings laid scattered across the road; it was obvious they had been ambushed and robbed. I gave the men a proper burial, and then took the book and clothes from their scattered things. I had come across this house four years ago; well I was hunting one day. I made this place into as much of a home as I could but it still didn't feel right, it didn't feel like mine, because it wasn't; I didn't have anything in this life that truly belonged to me.

I sighed as I leaned back in my chair. Every day that passed I felt more and more separated from humanity, form civilization, from the life I used to have, and the person I used to be. I turned my head to look out the window. The sun had risen an hour ago, and the sky was dense with clouds. Though I smiled I also gritted my teeth, trying to mentally prepare myself for the pain I was going to have to endure.

I got up and ran quickly through the woods; to the outskirts of London where a small market was located. Four years after I was changed, after I had been feeding on animal blood long enough to be near humans without killing them, I started coming to this market every time it was cloudy enough for me to be outside. Part of me knew that it was wrong for me to test myself control around humans, because I could lose control; but I was determined to find the power within me to be around humans and not be tempted by their blood. I took one last breath of clean air before I crossed the scent of the humans.

I entered the small market and was instantly assaulted by the enticing human scent. I had to remind myself to take slow breaths as I walked through the market, trying to draw as little attention to myself as possible. There weren't many humans around this morning, but I continued through the small crowed, taking a few breaths every time I passed someone. Trying to blend with the humans around me, I began to look over the small stands. Some sold food, some furs; others offered tiny trinkets the humans had made. I never bought anything but I enjoyed examining the carvings, paintings, and other artwork. They were beautiful enough to human eyes, but looking at them with my eyes, with my superior vision, I was able to see amazing detail and color that I had never known before. When I thought about it I felt a little sad for the artists who created the pieces, for they could never know the beauty of it the way I could.

I walked aimlessly around the market when distressed human cries caught my attention. I walked as quickly as I could, while still mimicking human speed, in the direction of the sound. Once I was out of the sight of humans I ran as quickly as I could; in less than thirty seconds I was down an empty dirt road that led into town. There were three people gathered together, one small person, a child, was laying on the ground, another person was kneeling on the ground next to the child gently rubbing the her arm; and another was standing next to them watching. I slowed my speed to a casual human pace as I approached them.

"Hello," I called to announce my presence. The kneeling person looked up, her face was full of fear and she was crying. She stood up and started coming towards me.

"Please . . . my daughter . . . something's wrong with her, she needs help." The woman said looking back towards her daughter. I jogged over to them and knelt beside the child; her mother knelt beside me. I was uncomfortable so close to humans; and I had to concentrate for a moment to remind myself to relax. Still, venom pooled in my mouth, a dry ache closed my throat, and my stomach twisted with the thirst. I clenched my teeth as I tried to dispel my thoughts.

"What happened?" I asked after a brief hesitation.

"I'm not sure, she's been sick. We were bringing her into town to try and see a physician and then she collapsed." The woman said as her hands fluttered back to her daughter. I looked at the child; she was very pale, sweating profusely. I focused and could hear her heart was beating very fast; her breath was labored and uneven. As I watched the child turned her head and vomited, then rolled back towards her mother. I thought back to the books I had at home, two of them were medical journals. I ran my mind back over the illnesses described in those books, trying to match the child's symptoms to one of them. Three stood out in my mind, infection, food poisoning, and blood poisoning.

"Does she have any cuts, or has she been bitten by anything recently?" I asked.

"No, she hasn't been able to go anywhere for days, she has just been laying in bed." The woman told me, stroking her child's face. No cuts, that meant no infection. It also ruled out blood poisoning, for something actually had to penetrate the skin to poison the blood.

"Do you remember what she ate the day she got sick?" I asked; the woman though for a moment.

"We had fish, that night was the first night she was sick." She answered.

"I don't think you need to be so worried," I assured her as I looked at the child, "I think your daughter has a bad case of food poisoning. Take her home, let her rest and make sure she drinks lots of fluids. She should be healthy again within a few days." I said as I looked up into the woman's eyes. Her expression became confused.

"You're a doctor?" she asked.

"Yes." I lied. It was wrong to lie, I knew that, but I also knew that the woman would not be confidant with my assessment of her child's condition unless she thought I had the proper training and experience. She looked into my eyes and I smiled kindly at her. Her expression lightened and she nodded. Then she lifted her daughter form the ground, she cradled the child to her chest then looked to the young boy standing on her left side. She took a few steps and then turned around to face me.

"Thank you." She said. I smiled at her. As I watched them walk away warmth I had never felt before spread through me. I didn't understand what it was or where it came from. I focused on it, trying to understand it and realized the feeling came from helping the mother and her child. It felt good to apply what I had learned from books to a real situation. Even more than that, it felt absolutely amazing to help someone who desperately needed it.

If I hadn't had those books, if I hadn't studied every page and sentence I would never have been able to help them. I had a sudden stab of remembrance from my human life. I had always had a thirst for knowledge when I was human but I was never able to satisfy it. My father had not let me study like I wished, he had made focus on what he thought was important; studying the Bible was top priority on his list of what mattered in life.

My father wasn't here now though; now I was free from him. I had an unlimited amount of time out in front of me, and I could spend that time anyway I wanted. I smiled to myself, because for the first time in seven years I did not see this immortal existence as a hell which I could never escape from. No longer was I dreading the endless years to come. For the first time in seven years I had purpose in my life.

I turned abruptly and started off down the road to the house I had hidden in the woods. I walked slowly as I formulated my plan. I was going to collect my books and the other few possessions I had collected over these past years, and then I would find a carriage driver. Once I decided on a place to settle I would bring my things and pay the driver to deliver them to my new residence. I would go ahead of him and get settled. I thought about the few universities I knew, trying to decide where I should go. There was a part of me that worried about this plan, for it involved a lot of close contact with humans. I tried my hardest to ignore that though; somehow I would make this work, no matter what it took.

When I returned to my house I gathered up the money I had collected over the years. Finally deciding to start my learning at Cambridge; I went into town and found a carriage driver, in desperate need of good pay, to bring my things from London to Cambridge. I instructed him to take them to the university; I would handle them from there. I had no idea where I would make my residence, but decided I would figure that out when I arrived. It would take the driver several days to reach the university and only a matter of hours for myself so I was in no hurry. I went into the forest to hunt, after my thirst was satisfied I started running for my new home.


	5. Chapter 5

Twilight is not mine and I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p><span>5. Progress<span>

**1671**

The sun had set only a little while ago and a warm, summer nigh breeze gently blew as I walked down the nearly empty streets of Cambridge toward the university where I had been studying the past three years. When I had first come to the university I experimented in a variety of different subjects. Since I was not permitted, by my father, in my human life to study anything besides the Bible I was eager to study subjects that had been out of my reach until now.

When I first arrived I began studying music and found that it was something that I was truly had a passion for. I had no one in this immortal existence that I was able to talk to, or share my experiences with; and hiding such a huge and horrible secret was a very lonely thing. However, with music, I was able to express all my sorrow and emptiness. In a way I was able to share a little of who I was with those around me; while they never guessed at my true nature. The violin was my favorite instrument; it always has been, since I had heard it played on a street corner when I was human.

Though the violin was beautiful and I found much pleasure in playing, after only a month of studying I found that it alone was not enough to satisfy my thirst for knowledge. When I moved from music to science I found that was a much more interesting. It held my attention and constantly gave me new things to study and pounder over. I briefly studied astronomy, then biology of plants and animals. They were fascinating subjects but something still felt incomplete. That's when I turned to studying medicine, and in that found my calling.

I had reached the university and quickly made my way through the impressive building to the rooms used for medical teaching. I entered the room and was instantly assaulted by several human scents. My reflex reaction was to hold my breath whenever I caught the scent of a human, a habit I was trying to break. I knew that if I ever wanted to help humans with what I have learned I would have to get use to, and learn to resist human blood. I was thankful that the night classes always had much less people than those held during the day. I did not think I would be able to resist a whole room full of humans.

I took my seat away from the other humans, reminding myself to take a slow deep breath every few seconds. A few more minutes passed and the professor began the lesson. It was on anatomy, I listened carefully; I took notes, trying to blend with the other students, though they were unnecessary because my mind never forgot a single detail. When the lecture ended several hours later, I walked quickly from the room the way I always did, and like always, I was vaguely aware of the eyes that followed me when I left. Around campus I was developing a reputation for being a very odd person. I occasionally overheard the conversations of humans when they would talk about the mysterious, pale, student that studied by night and made as little contact with people as possible. But instead of trying to change these rumors I just let them spared for now; because for now, I only had the strength to simply resist humans when I was around them and nothing more.

**1674**

Over the next three years I became much more comfortable in my classes. I was able to make more contact with humans and the suspicious rumors about me all but stopped. I had become comfortable enough around the other humans that I was able to talk with them in class and rarely had to really concentrate on resisting.

"You know Carlisle; it is a bit strange when you do that." Thomas's familiar voice pulled me from my thoughts. I turned to smile at him. Thomas was the first friend I made here at Cambridge University, and although I found my friendship with him very easy it still felt somewhat empty, because he could never know anything about who and what I truly was.

"Sorry," I said, knowing how strange and slightly disturbing he found it when I would get lost in thought and stare motionless at nothing. "It's just so easy for me to get lost in thought." I said with a soft laugh. Thomas shook his head in amusement, and then both of our attention was directed towards the front of the room as the professor began the lecture.

As I listened another part of my mind was focused on something else. I had been studying here for almost four years now; I found it was relatively easy to resist the temptation when I was in close contact with humans. I was proud of myself for accomplishing that much, but I knew I would have to move on to something more difficult if I was ever going to work as a surgeon. I knew I would have to expose myself to fresh human blood, and learn to resist it if I were ever going to make more progress.

The thought horrified me though. I didn't trust myself, and if I did expose myself to fresh blood, and didn't have the strength to resist…I wasn't sure how much pain that defeat would cause me. As I pondered over what I should do, a new idea occurred to me. They kept vials of human blood here at the university for study and experiments. The blood in them was not fresh, but I knew it would be a challenge to resist; I could start with that, and eventually move on to fresher human blood, until I was sure I had the strength to resist, a living, bleeding human.

After class I made my way to and empty hall and hid in the shadows until I heard all the humans leave the room I was trying to enter. I listened to their footsteps as the moved further and further away from me. When the last human had exited, I swept quickly in and out of the room, the vials securely in my hand. I moved so quickly and so swiftly that even if there had still been humans in the room they would have never known I had entered. I would have been nothing more to them than a gliding shadow; a part of the shadows I was hiding in. I moved more slowly through the streets of the city until I reached my home.

I moved more slowly through the streets of the city until I reached my home. I set one of the vials in the middle of my small table, and set the others on my bookshelf before I took my seat. I stared at the small amount of blood inside the glass tube for a long time. Slowly, I lifted my hand and removed the cork; the smell hit me instantly. It was not very fresh but it made my throat burn and my mouth pool with venom. I grinded my teeth together, taking one deep breath after the other. It took two hours of breathing before the burn in my throat slowly started to subside. I was proud of myself; I replaced the cork and then stored that vial next to the others I had stolen.

I repeated this exercise every night after the lecture; it took two months before the smell was nothing at all to resist. I started to worry again, I knew I would have to find fresher blood if I wanted to continue to improve; I also knew I would not be able to take that next step here. It was time for me to move on from Cambridge to somewhere new. I had taken every medical class the university had to offer, and I wanted to continue to learn. I thought about where I should go next; and decided that France would be a good place to start.

I spent the next week getting my things together; I pulled myself out of the university and was ready to leave. I had already made arrangements to have my belongings taken my ferry, to France. I was going to swim the channel; once in France I would find a home and get settled before my things arrived. I was ready to move on but if felt as though something was still holding me here. As I hunted, I thought about what that could be. My thoughts swirled around my human life, and how quickly it had ended, and my father. He barley accepted me when I was human, and I knew, without a doubt, that he would not accept me now. Now that I was a monster in his estimation, he would kill me himself, were he capable; but as I thought about him I knew that he was what was still holding me here. I didn't know why that was; I had watched him a few times over the past decade, and all my time spent watching him I became surer in my belief that he had no remorse for the loss of his son, and had very little tolerance for anyone else. Never the less I knew that I had to get some sense of closure with my human life. I also knew I had to say goodbye to my father, if only from a distance.

I sat in the top branches of a tall tree as I thought; and finally decided that I would go back to London. I would not make any contact with my father, but I decided that I just had to see him one last time, before I would be able to put that part of my past behind me.

It took me the whole day to reach London, and that's because I was not putting much effort into getting their quickly. I entered the city just after dark and made my way to the small parsonage I had spent my youth in. The door was unlocked, and I could hear that the home was empty. I made my way through the small kitchen, to the living room, and eventually through my room, then my fathers. Not much had changed, and I was unsurprised by that. I had expected to feel something when I came here, maybe grief, or happiness, or even anger; but there was nothing. I felt no connection to this place; it was as if I were in the home of a stranger. So, without another thought, I turned and left the parsonage.

I made my way to my father's church; and stood in the dark shadows of the cemetery as I listened to the sounds inside. My father was in the middle of delivering the service; this did give me some remembrance for my human life; just as it had every other time I had sat and listed from a distance. I spent much of my time listening to my father preach.

When the service ended, I watched as the people exited the church. I did not recognize anyone in the crowed. There were very few faces I recognized, though that was unsurprising. Several times throughout the past decade I had come and watched my father from a distance but I did not pay much attention to others. It had been eleven years since I had seen these people and many of my human memories had faded.

I waited until everyone except my father had left; then I silently entered the church. I kept to the darkest shadows, and watched my father as he walked up and down the aisles, blowing out the candles. He never saw me here, nor showed any indication that he knew I was watching him. As I watched him I wondered if he ever thought about me. Did he think I was dead? Did he know what I had become? Did he even care that he had lost his only son? I doubted that he did; I had always been a disappointment to him.

I stayed in the church even after he had left. I walked up the aisles, remembering all the time I had spent in this church. It pained me to be here, to feel so close to my human life only to know that I could never have that life back. My eyes started to sting as I turned to leave. As I turned my eyes landed on the cross that hung over the pulpit, my father had carved it over twenty years ago. A dim human memory from when I was still just a boy flooded my thoughts. I remembered watching my father carve the cross; he modeled it after the cross my mother used to wear when she was still alive. Her cross was given to me after her death; never having known my mother I only felt connected to her when I wore the cross, and so I never took it off. However, the cross was lost the night I was mauled by the vampire who changed me. I looked back up at the cross, it really was a beautiful carving, and seeing it again I felt more connected to my human life than any other time in the past eleven years.

In that moment I knew I wouldn't be right to turn my back on my human life and never think about it or my father again. I also knew I would never be able to leave that cross behind me. It meant too much to me and looking at it brought back so much remembrance from my human life. I walked up to the pulpit and grabbed the cross from where it hung; then, with it in my hands, I turned and left the church.


	6. Chapter 6

Twilight is not mine and I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p>6. Darkness<p>

**1683**

I pressed down gently on the human I as restraining as the master surgeon of the hospital tried to amputate the young man's foot. I had only started to work at this hospital two months ago and this was only the forth surgery I had assisted in. The young man was brought into the hospital after he had been trampled by a horse. His foot was severely damaged and it had to be amputated. The human struggled and cried out in blood curdling screams. Because of my superior strength I was able to restrain the human without a problem. The real struggle for me was watching the surgery.

As the master surgeon cut into the flesh of the human, blood gushed from the wound. The smell was extremely difficult to resist. I felt the overwhelming need to feed come over me as I watched the blood ooze from the wound, felt the heat of it in the air, was assaulted by the intoxicating smell, and listened to the frantic pounding of his heart.

I tried to clear my head so I could focus on restraining the human while the surgeon worked but I could feel myself control slipping away. I knew what would happen if I stayed in the room. I started to pull away from the human and he started flailing on the table; making it difficult for the surgeon to work.

"Carlisle, what are you doing?!" the surgeon shouted at me. I had stopped breathing and was too afraid to take the necessary breath to answer him; so I just shook my head. One of the other assistants in the room rushed over to restrain the human. He didn't have my strength and he struggled to keep the human still but I could no longer be of help to them. I turned and rushed out of the room as fast as I could while still mimicking human speed.

Once I was out of the hospital, in the fresh air I started to breath again. The cool night air soothed the burn in my throat and cleared my head. I walked until I was in the woods that surrounded the small village I now called my home. When I first came to France ten years ago I traveled from university to university, until I finally settled in this village. I had thought I was ready to at least assist in surgeries; but I had not been able to make it through one full surgery yet. I always found myself overwhelmed by the blood and had to run from the room. I was getting better, the first time I was only able to last five minutes, and just now I had made it through twenty minutes. Despite my progress I was severely disappointed in myself. In every surgery I had assisted in I had been tempted to kill the bleeding human, and I hated myself for being weak. I had to remind myself that learning to resist fresh flowing blood would take time, but I couldn't stop the disappointment from seeping in.

As I walked I took a deep breath to relax myself, but when I scented the air I froze. The sweet scent of a vampire lingered in the air. My first reaction was panic; since I was changed I had never met another vampire, I had caught their scents a few times but I always took off running in the other direction. I was a little afraid to meet another of my kind, I didn't know what another vampire would be like; and so I avoided them. I wanted to run now, but something stopped me. It had been nearly two decades since I had been able to honestly talk with someone, and I was lonelier than I had ever been. In that moment, overwhelmed by loneliness, I decided that I would find this vampire; besides, I wouldn't be able to avoid my own kind forever, now would be as good a time as any for me to meet another vampire.

I took off running, following the scent; it wound deep into the forest, I must have run eighty mile before I heard a low, clear, bell-like voice. The vampire was talking to himself and from what he was saying it sound like he was looking from something.

"To the West? …yes, it's to the West…it's not far…no, it's not far…but where?" the vampire muttered. I slowed as I approached. The vampire was so wrapped up in trying to find what he was looking for that he had not yet heard me. I entered the small field he was sitting in; he was facing away from me about twenty yards away.

"Hello?" I said quietly. Shocked by my presents the vampire scrambled to his feet and whipped around to face me. The vampire who faced me was tall and lean, his eyes were a deep dark red, his clothes were tattered as if he had been wearing them for quite some time, they matched his mess dark blond hair. I expected some reply but he just stared at me; his body was tense as if we were about to run away.

"I'm Carlisle," I said after a few minutes of waiting "and you are?" I asked. I waited a few more minutes but he still didn't respond. I was uncomfortable by his lack of answers, but I continued to speak to him.

"I'm very surprised to meet you, my transformation was not that long ago, and I have never met another of our kind; although I guess I could have, but I have somewhat avoided others. My transformation was very abrupt and after that encounter I suppose I was afraid to meet another vampire." I had started to ramble and was surprised by how much I was admitting about myself.

"I caught your scent back near the village I was residing in; being alone for so long has made me a little desperate, and I decided to follow you. I wanted to be able to talk to someone." The vampire gazed at me with suspicious eyes, as if he were expecting me to attack him. However, I was so enthused to finally have someone to talk to that I continued to speak.

"Eternity is a very long amount of time to have to do whatever you want; don't you agree? I like to spend my time learning. Medicine is my favorite subject but I have also studied science, astronomy, music, art, and much more. I don't think I'll ever get tired of learning." The strange vampire never responded to me and so I continued to talk about every subject that crossed my mind. After a few hours the vampire relaxed his nervous posture. When dawn started to approach he abruptly turned and started to walk away from me. He didn't really seem like he was trying to get away from me so I followed him. He wondered around the forest; he didn't seem to be going anywhere, he just wondered aimlessly. I continued to follow him, and continued to talk; after two days, he finally responded to me.

"I am Alistair." He said. It wasn't much but I was happy to have gotten a reply from him. Alistair didn't speak very often, and when he did he kept his replies very short. Only once did he ask me a question.

"What is wrong with your eyes?" he asked; and I explained to him how I chose to live. He merely snorted in response but said nothing about my diet. I stayed and talked to him for a few more days, and when I got tired of his lack of response I decided to move on. I didn't want to go back to the village; I wanted to move on to somewhere new. Somewhere where I could continue to learn and maybe come across others of my kind. I would only go back to collect my things, then I would find a new home for myself.

As I left the area my thoughts kept flicking back to Alistair. He seemed to be a very reclusive person, almost like he was afraid of contact with other people. I could only guess at how many years he had spent alone. I would have to make a point of going back to visit him; I didn't want his reclusive nature to get any worse.

Other than my worry for Alistair, I also had a nagging fear in the back of my mind that kept pulling at my thoughts. If years of being alone could turn Alistair into someone who was afraid of people, was I headed for the same fate? Would I continue to be alone in this immortal life until I no longer had the ability to be around others? I felt sick at the thought; I didn't want to be alone but what was I to do? How was I ever going to find others to share my life with? I guess I would just have to hope that somewhere in this world there were others like me; and hope that someday, I would find them.

**1689**

I sat in my small cottage playing my violin as the last rays of sun light disappeared below the horizon. As I pulled the bow across the across the strings the notes came out sounding much more somber than usual. I finished the piece then set my violin aside. I sighed as I looked out my window, to the now dark sky. I had come to Austria six years ago to study in the universities across the country; but I became frustrated with simply studying medicine and wanted the chance to practice it firsthand again. After my experiences in France I had been a little afraid to participate in surgeries again. That was six years ago though, I felt that I had made more progress, and I was ready to try again. So far I had kept to the bigger cities of Austria and even though this had given me many opportunities to study it had not offered me many opportunities to practice medicine. Most of the experienced surgeons only took three or four students at a time, and no one had room to let me assist them; I figured I would have to move to a smaller town or village to find someone who needed an assistant, somewhere where surgeons were very sparse.

I traveled for six months before I came across the small village where I was now residing. I was just making my way through the village when I found a small boy in desperate need of my help. It was night, and I was walking through the nearly empty streets of the village when I heard the distressed cries of humans. I quickly ran to their aid, a father, and the pastor of the village, had been trying to bring his son to the church so he could perform a blessing over the child to help cure him of his illness, but the boy collapsed from his fever. When I found them and offered them my help the father was afraid his son would die right then. I looked the boy over and found the he was suffering from a severe infection. Just below his left knee was swollen, it was inflamed and nearly black in color. I knew I had to take immediate action if the boy was to survive. I ordered the father to get some water from the well, when he left I pulled out my knife and pierced the skin of the infected area. Blood and puss poured from the wound, when the father returned I cleaned the wound, and then wrapped it with clean cloth. The boys fever was gone by morning, but it took several more days for him to recover completely.

The village was currently without a doctor, and after watching how I had saved his son the pastor begged me to stay in the village. He was one of the most prominent people in the village and gave me a place to live and made sure I had everything I needed. Over the past eight months the pastor had become the closest friend I have had in the past twenty-three years. His manor and his optimistic, accepting personality reminded me greatly of my old friend Peter; the man who was dragged off into the night by the same vampire who had mauled and changed me.

I turned to the table and place my violin in its case; then turned for the door and made my way down the dirt road outside my cottage that led into town. Pastor Reza had invited me to his home for dinner, as he usually did. He thought it was odd that I didn't have a family; he believed that someone my age should be married and have children by now, though he couldn't even guess at my real age. Although I liked the company of my friend and his family I didn't like having to force myself to eat human food, only to have to force it back up later when I was alone; but I knew it would be rude to refuse my friends offer to join his family for supper, and so, once or twice a week I would subject myself to the task.

When I reached Pastor Reza's small home I knocked softly on his door. He answered for me.

"Ah, Carlisle," he greeted me with a handshake "It is so nice you could join us this evening." He said then motioned for me to come in. His wife, Verena, already had supper on the table. As we ate Pastor Reza started the conversation by giving me updates on the happenings of the village. He noticed that I usually tended to withdraw from social events, and he wanted me to be familiar with everything that was going on. I complemented Verena on the meal, even though it tasted horrible to me. When there was a lull in the conversation I watched their son, Tobias, remembering how close to death he had been the night I first met him and his father. He was a beautiful young boy, with the same short black hair and green eyes as his father.

After dinner Reza led me to the back room of his house for an after dinner drink while Verena put Tobias to bed.

"Carlisle," Reza started to say "You are aware that the winter ball is going to be held at the church in just a week's time?" he asked.

"Yes, I am aware of that." I answered.

"Almost everyone from the community is going to be in attendance, can I expect to see you there?" he asked. I had not planned on attending, but I could see from our conversation that Reza had other plans for me.

"I suppose I could attend." I replied, knowing he would not drop the subject until he had made me agree to go.

"Would you consider bringing you violin? I'm sure there are many in the community who would love to hear you play." He asked. I could tell that he was leading this conversation to something, but I couldn't tell where.

"I would love to play at the ball." I said, suspicious of his intents.

"You know Carlisle, there are many eligible women in the community, many of who have tried to catch your eye; for someone such as yourself, a brilliant surgeon, who is also well mannered and gifted with music would have no problem attracting someone. The ball would be the perfect place to meet your match, don't you think?" he asked shamelessly. Would he ever give up on trying to find me a wife? I sighed at his words, but didn't respond. When he processed the expression on my face he just laughed, his boisterous laugh.

The week passed quickly and before I knew it, it was the night of the ball. I attended just as I had promised; I didn't dance with anyone; I simply stood off to the side and played my violin. As I watched the couples spin gracefully around each other I did feel a little sad. It would be nice to be able to dance with someone. I did enjoy dancing; but I knew it would not be a wise thing to do. Whomever I danced with would definitely notice my hard, cold skin and would find it bizarre, maybe even a little frightening. I did have to make physical contact with humans every now and then, usually when I was treating them, but under those circumstances they were usually in too much pain or too ill to notice anything wrong with my touch. That wouldn't be the case tonight though; so I decided it was best to just abstain from dancing.

As it got later couples started to leave the church to go home. Soon it was just myself and Reza left in the church. I helped him blown out all the candles that were light throughout the church. He didn't say much as we worked, I knew he was disappointed that I had chosen to dance with no one.

"Carlisle," Reza said to me "why is it that you hold yourself back from people?"

"I struggle with who I am. I don't see how others could accept me when I do not accept myself." I answered honestly.

"I'm not sure I understand you Carlisle? What it is about yourself that troubles you so much you cannot accept the person you are? From what I have seen, you are a good man." He asked confused.

"I harbor more darkness inside me than you know." I said; I could hear the grief in my voice. Reza was quiet and thoughtful for a moment.

"But I sense that you have the power within you to fight that darkness." He stated. I didn't answer him; I just turned to the door to leave.

"Even though you are so reluctant to let yourself be close to people, do you ever wish you had a family?" Reza asked.

"I wish I had a family every day." I said, and then walked out into the night.

As I walked I thought about my exchange with Reza, he had no idea of the monster I was, of the darkness I carried inside me. He had always been trying to push me into finding a wife and starting a family but he didn't understand. I could never find a family among humans; if I ever had a family it would have to be with my own kind. I had only met one other vampire before and he was defiantly not the type to be around others for any length of time. I wondered if all vampires were that way; or if one day, I would be able to have the family I so deeply longed for.

Weeks passed and the worst of the winter had just set in; a recent blizzard had covered the village in a heavy blanket of snow. I was kept busy by tending to those who had suffered from cold related ailments. Frost bite, hypothermia, and phenomena were the cases I saw most often. I feared that I would only have more to deal with as the winter got worse. The heavy, dark grey, snow filled clouds still hung ominously over the village; I knew more blizzards were to be expected.

"Carlisle!" I heard my name called from outside. The sound would be completely inaudible to a human because of the screaming wind. I set the book I was reading aside and quickly got up to rush to the door. Someone must be in desperate need of my assistance if they braved the harsh weather to come and see me.

I pulled the door out of my way and saw Ulrich struggling through the snow to reach my door. I reached for my heavy coat and ran out to meet him.

"Ulrich, what's wrong?" I asked. He spoke to me through chattering teeth.

"My daughter, she needs your help. She and my wife were out gathering fire wood, the rocks by the river were covered with ice and she slipped. I think she broke her arm; when she fell she hit her head and was knocked unconscious. My wife carried her home but she needs your help." He said.

"Alright, Ulrich, you are going to freeze before we make it back to your home. Please, stay in my cottage and warm up, I will go and tend to your daughter." I instructed.

"Thank you." Ulrich said as he nodded to me; then made his way through the deep snow to my cottage. When he was inside and could no longer see me, I started running at full speed; I arrived at his home in less than two minutes. Ulrich's wife answered the door for me.

"Thank you so much from coming Carlisle, please come in." She greeted me. When I stepped inside the small cottage Ulrich's daughter was laying, still unconscious, on a thick pile of blankets on the floor. I went to her side at once and knelt by her on the floor. I examined her right arm; it was swollen and starting to turn dark purple, almost black in color. As I touched and moved her arm to reset the bone she started to wake.

"Nadine, Nadine can you hear me?" I asked. She only twitched slowly at first, but as realized the pain in her arm, her eyes snapped open and she started to scream. Her mother ran over to restrain her daughter as I set the bone and splint and wrapped her arm.

Ulrich arrived back home just after I had finished tending to his daughter. He had warmed up quickly in my cottage and decided to return home before nightfall. I was just on my way out as he arrived; he and his wife both thanked me before I left.

I decided to walk home slowly; the cold didn't affect me the way it did a human, and despite the havoc the winter was inflicting on the humans who lived here it really was beautiful. Everything was covered in a thick white blanket for as far as the eye could see. Every branch of the trees in the surrounding woods was covered in a fine layer of ice. As I walked it started to snow again, and the delicate little flakes fluttered down from the grey, clouded sky, and danced in the air around me before they landed softly on the ground. I smiled as I walked, enjoying the serenity of the moment.

Several more minutes passed and that serenity was abruptly shattered by fearful screams. I spun around and took off in the direction of the cries. I moved so fast that my feet had no time to leave prints in the snow; as I got closer to the sound of the screams I realized they were coming from Reza's house. I pushed myself faster than I had ever run before. As I approached Reza's house two things happened simultaneously that made me feel sick to my stomach. The wind blew towards me, bringing with it the sweet scent of a vampire, and I heard the clear sharp voice of a vampire laughing as Reza and his family screamed.

I didn't know how to fight a vampire, or if I would be victorious, but I was not going to let my friends die at the hands of a monster.

"Demon! I cast you out of my home, away from my family!" I heard Reza shout; he was no doubt holding up a cross to repel the vampire as he said this; after all, he was a man of the church. He would think, like my father had, and like I used to that he could repel the vampire using the force of God.

I broke through Reza's front door then; Verena and Tobias were huddled in the corner of the room and Reza stood in front of them, holding up a cross at the vampire who was smiling maliciously. I threw myself at the vampire, knocking us both across the room. The vampire was stunned, for less than a second then scrambled to his feet. He turned on me, trying to sink his teeth into my throat but I was quicker than him. I didn't know how to kill a vampire so I copied his moves. I lunged at him and managed to sink my teeth into his shoulder. He shrieked in pain and threw me across the room. He must have decided that killing these humans wouldn't be worth fighting me because he wheeled around a raced away through the open, broken door. I could have perused him but I didn't see the purpose in doing that. I didn't want to kill him. I only wanted to defend my friends from his monstrous intent; and so I let him escape.

I turned to look at Reza and his family; knowing that they had just seen me do. Verena and Tobias were still crouched in the corner; they both had their faces hidden so they had not witnessed what I had just done but Reza had. He started at me in shock. I didn't want to wait until the first friend I have had in decades turned on me in disgust and accused me of being a monster; so, without a word I turned and walked out the door. I had only taken ten steps way from Reza's home when I heard him call after me.

"Carlisle wait." He said as he rushed out of his home towards me. I turned to look at him and was surprised to see that his face was calm and sympathetic, and almost caring.

"Do you remember when you told me that you struggled to accept yourself because you had darkness inside you?" he asked. His voice was kind when he spoke. I just nodded to answer him.

"Well, I think you were wrong." He said.

"How can you say that?" I asked, my voice was filled with sorrow when I spoke. "You saw what I am."

"I did." he said "but even though you are what you are, even as you fought him; I could not see any relation between the two of you. You are not the monster that he is; you have more good in you that you think. Never forget that Carlisle." Reza told me.

"Thank you." I said; then he turned and started to walk inside. As soon as his eyes were off me I took off at full speed. I heard him turn around to look back at me but I would be out if his sight by now. I knew I could not stay in this village any longer; I would go to my cottage and collect my things. I didn't want to leave, I had friends here, the closest friends I have had since I was human; but I knew I could not stay. By morning any evidence of me having lived here would be completely erased.


	7. Chapter 7

Twilight is not mine and I do not own the story or any of the characters.

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><p><span>7. Companions<span>

**1692**

I walked carefully through the street as it was crowded with people gathering to watch the performance about to take place in the town square. Three brothers had been putting on a show of juggling, fire eating and gymnastics the past few weeks and were becoming widely popular. I had not yet watched any of the performances but had heard much talk about them. As I made my way through the crowed the show began. Fire quickly exploding up toward the night sky caught my attention and I decided to stop and watch. The first of the three brothers began with an amazing show of juggling torches, before he caught them, placed one of the flaming tips in his mouth then blew out fire. The second brother then began with a show of back flips; my eyes stayed on him and he flipped across the square. As he passed the crowed at the opposite end of me, my attention was snapped away from him, to a face in the crowed.

The face was completely unfamiliar to me; yet completely familiar in a terrifying way. It was the pale, perfect, beautiful face of a vampire. She was very tall, with a voluptuous, almost muscular build. She had thick black hair that hung past her shoulders. She looked to be about the same age as me, probably in her early twenties when she was changed. Her wide eyes were black with thirst and she was staring right at me. I started back at her passively in a way that showed I was neither going to run from her or attack her. I turned slowly keeping my eyes on her and started to walk through the crowed; she copied me. We walked until we were away from the gathered humans. When we were down another street and could be neither heard nor seen by humans we stopped.

"Hello." I said kindly.

"Hello." She said in the same way.

"I am Carlisle. I have to say, I'm surprised to see you here. I have been in the city for quite a while now and have not come across any others." I said. She surprised me by smiling.

"Well you don't have to worry; my mate and I were just passing through. We should be leaving shortly." She answered, her tone was friendlier then mine. She must have had more experience meeting other vampires than I did. I wondered if I could every be as comfortable talking with other vampires as she seemed to be.

"I hope you don't mind my asking but, why are your eyes that color? I have seen black and red, but never gold." She asked her eyes peaking with interest.

"There a product of how I have chosen to feed. I don't drink human blood. I feed off the blood of animals only." I answered. It was only the second time in my life I had explained my diet to another vampire.

"Really?" She asked her tone colored with fascination "How have you managed that?"

"Well, it has been difficult to learn to resist, but to me it is well worth it." I said. She laughed a bright, cheery laugh.

"I must admit, I have never heard anything like that. It seems so impossible; I might just have to try it sometime."She said with another laugh. "Why don't you come with me? You could meet my mate, Liam, and explain more about your lifestyle." She asked. I was surprised by her offer, this was only my third encounter with a vampire and I hadn't expected her to be so friendly.

"I would like that." I answered excited. This wouldn't be the one-sided conversation I had had with Alistair or the violent fight I had with the second vampire I met. This would be a real discussion between me and others of my own kind.

"Great, this way" she said turning in the direction she was going to lead me. "I am Siobhan." She tacked on at the end, and then started running.

I ran by her said through the dark forest, neither of us spoke so I just enjoyed the scenery. The forests of Germany were so beautiful; they were a big part of why I had chosen to settle here. After I left Austria I wondered around for a few years. I had just happened to come through this place when I was hunting. It was so beautiful I decided to stay. Siobhan started to slow as we entered a large open field. In the center of the field was an old farm house. It looked like it had been sitting there empty for a while before Siobhan and her mate took up residence there. I heard movement from inside the house, and then the front door swung open. A vampire, who I could only guess was Siobhan's mate stood there smiling at her, then his gaze shifted warily to me.

He was tall and lean and muscular. He had short, dark brown hair that reflected a red tint in the moonlight. He had an imposing presence that commanded attention, which was even more evident as he stood tall and straight in the doorway. He looked physically older than Siobhan, most likely in his mid thirties when he was changed. I could see he was suspicious of me; I understood his hesitation. I felt the same way every time I met a vampire or came across ones scent.

I slowed down and let Siobhan lead about ten feet in front of me as we reached the porch stairs. Liam met Siobhan half way down the stairs and kissed her for a moment. I looked away while they kissed. Couples didn't usually display their affection; of course that was humans, perhaps vampires were different. I wouldn't really know. Siobhan broke the kiss first.

"Liam, I would like you to meet Carlisle." She said gracefully waving a hand in my direction. I smiled politely as Liam's gazed focused on me. He didn't say anything but nodded once at me. "I invited him to stay with us for a while. I had a very interesting conversation with, and he is going to tell us all about his fascinating lifestyle." She explained.

"Really? Well I can't wait. I'm sure it will be riveting." He said with mock politeness. He turned and walked back up the stairs and disappeared inside the house. Siobhan followed him and I followed after her.

The house was beautiful inside, and was brightly illuminated by a fireplace and a large chandelier that had to have at least sixty lit candles on it. Liam sat down on a brown chair large enough to seat two people. Siobhan sat beside him, the motioned for me to sit in the chair opposite of them. I looked politely to Liam first than Siobhan.

"So, Carlisle, tell me more about this diet of yours. I have never heard of a vampire who lived off of animal blood. I had never even considered the possibility that doing such a thing was possible." Siobhan asked in the same fascinated tone. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Liam's face change. It twisted with confusion and disbelief; clearly he had never heard of such a thing either.

"Well, it started several months after I was changed. I was alone when I had awoken form the transformation but I knew what I had become. I had never wanted to be a vampire and was so disgusted with myself that I ran away into the forest. I tried several times to kill myself but nothing could damage my body. After many attempts and being unsuccessful I hoped I could starve to death. I ran deep into the forest and hid in a small cavern. I laid there for months, the pain from my thirst made it impossible to think. One night a heard of deer passed my hiding place; I was insane from thirst and could hear their heart beats. I attacked without thinking, after feeding my strength returned. From the moment I became a vampire I had never wanted to kill humans, and from my experience I learned I didn't have to." I explained. Siobhan and Liam stayed very quiet as I told them my story. When I finished I looked first to one then the other, waiting for some type of reply. They looked at each other as they considered my story.

"So, you have never even tasted human blood?" Liam asked in disbelief.

"Correct. After discovering I could feed off animal blood, I made myself learn to resist human blood. It is still difficult. I still struggle with thirst but I am getting better." I answered. Liam's face was a mix of disbelief and disgust. Siobhan's face was more polite.

"Forgive me but I don't quite understand. Why try so hard to resist humans? If you want to live off animal blood why not stay away from human populations? Then you would never be tempted at all; that seems to be the much easier path to me." She asked kindly.

"I didn't just want to avoid humans. I enjoy learning and have attended many universities. I have studied medicine for the past few decades and want to practice it. I have to learn to resist human blood if I am going to do so." I answered. Siobhan laughed the same bright laugh she had before.

"I must say Carlisle. I have never met another quite like you. Most vampires will have the occasional contact with humans, but I have never met one who had aspirations to work side by side with them." She said, then laughed again. "Perhaps you could stay with us for a while; I would love to hear more about your life. It seems to be a truly fascinating story." She asked.

"I would like that" I answered.

Siobhan and Liam left me alone in their house later than night to go out and hunt. I didn't like the idea of simply letting them go out and kill innocent people but I held my tong. They had been feeding their way since the time of their transformation, and even though Siobhan seemed fascinated by my diet I couldn't expect to change her or her mate. They didn't return till morning, once they did we continued our conversation. When they returned they told me about their lives. Siobhan did most of the talking. Siobhan was over two hundred years old; born in the late 1400s. She was born in Ireland and was kidnapped from her home one night by the vampire who changed her. She explained to me how newborns were very strong and usually wild. She killed her creator before her newborn year was over. After that she wandered through Europe and Asia.

Liam was about my own age, changed in 1651. He had been an Irish warrior; he fought in the Irish Rebellion of 1641 and then against Cromwell's re-conquest of Ireland. He was changed when a vampire attacked several men on the battle field. Feeding so much that when he got to Liam he did not drain enough blood from him to kill him. The vampire left him there and Liam transformed into a vampire. He did explain to me his dislike of Englishmen because of his human experiences, but decided that he could put that aside for the time being. Liam was terrified and confused after he awoke from the transformation, not understanding what had happened to him. Siobhan found him six months later and explained to him what he was. They fell in love quickly and have been inseparable ever since.

I traveled with Siobhan and Liam for several weeks, telling them more about my life and experiences. They told me more about their lives as well. Siobhan did try my diet once and forced Liam to do the same, but after one hunting trip they both confirmed that feeding off animal blood was not for them. Siobhan worried about me; I didn't have a coven to help protect me if I ever came across a hostile vampire and decided to teach me how to defend against an attack. She explained how to kill a vampire and I doubted that, even if my life were in danger, I would be able to rip another being apart and burn them.

She taught me to fight regardless; I went over her instructions in my head as we prepared for another mock fight. Don't go for the obvious kill, don't let them get behind you, don't strike unless you're prepared to defend yourself, and don't leave your throat open. She also instructed me on how to reattach a severed limb.

We started our false battle by circling each other while Liam watched from a distance so he could tell me what I did wrong later. We continued to circle, l made sure my back never faced her, just as she instructed. I thought I saw an opening on her left and I rushed in. She turned and defended herself, - had this been an actual fight I would have lost an arm- I pulled back, but left myself open. She took advantage of that and rushed in. I saw her coming and adjusted my defenses just in time. This time she was the one who had to fix her defenses. We rushed at each other again and again, though she had much more experience, I was learning quickly. Our circling got tighter and tighter, until final I took one misstep and she rushed in. Her teeth stopped before they cut my throat and the fight was over, leaving Siobhan victorious once again. I heard Liam laugh from behind us as Siobhan released me.

Several more months passed and I continued to travel with Siobhan and Liam. They were the closest friends I had made in this immortal existence and I had forgotten how nice it was to have friends you didn't have to hide from. I could talk openly and honestly with them, there were no secrets and I loved it. Things could be strained sometimes; they knew how I felt about preserving human life and were courteous enough to avoid speaking of their hunting practices and to hunt only when I was not around. However, other than this difference we managed to have a very good relationship.

We continued to travel across Germany, staying in the country during the day and venturing into the cities at night. I collected more artwork for my collection; I had two pieces that I especially admired. The first had been a gift from Siobhan; it pictured the vast, rolling hills of the German country side. The second one I had found on one of our trips into the city. I showed the city as it would be viewed from atop the tallest building.

I looked at the two pictures hanging side by side on the wall. I heard Siobhan's soft footsteps approach my room, followed by Liam's heavier ones; then there was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in." I called, though I knew Siobhan would weather I told her to or not, she simply knocked out of courtesy.

"Liam and I are going into the market, there is a human there would is selling jewelry. I haven't seen it yet but Liam said the humans claim it the most beautiful jewelry they have ever seen. I thought I would look it over. Would you like to come with us?" she asked.

"I would love to." I said, as I got up from my seat and followed them out the door. We walked down the little dirt path that led into the village we were currently settled next to. The market was set up on the outskirts of the village and Siobhan wasted no time finding the jewelry she wanted. Liam stayed by her side as he usually did but I wandered throughout the market. As I wondered I heard the distressed cries of humans. I walked as quickly as I could, without attracting notice, in the direction of the sound. When I was out of sight I ran at full speed toward the humans. When I arrived I saw a mother and father struggling to carry their two sick children toward the village.

"Hello," I said as I approached them. The mother looked up at me first. "Can I help you?" I asked.

"It's our sons." The father said "At first we thought it was just the flu, but this morning they broke out in a terrible rash. We were trying to carry them into the village to see a physician."

"I am a doctor, please, let me take a look at them." I said as I rushed over to the family. They laid their children on the ground and knelt beside them; I knelt on the ground and look over one boy first, then the other. The boys were young, about ten years old, they both had a sever fever and an extensive red, bumpy rash that covered their faces, necks and chests.

"How long have they been ill for?" I asked.

"It started with a sore throat about a week ago. Then they started vomiting and had a fever. The rash started on their cheeks this morning and spread down their body." The father explained. I had seen this aliment before, while I was still working in Austria.

"I think they both have a bad case of Scarlett Fever." I said "They should get to a hospital immediately. I can help you carry them there." I offered my help.

"Thank you, we need the help." The mother answered. She handed me her son, the father took the other boy in his arms. We carried them to the hospital; when we arrived I explained to the master surgeon that I was a doctor and my assessment of the boys.

"Yes, we have many cases of Scarlett Fever lately, put them with the others." He said to another doctor. I followed the second doctor to another wing of the hospital; there were rows of bed laid out. Children, all suffering from the same aliment lay on those beds, but I saw no doctor tending to them. I went back to the main hall and found the master surgeon.

"Excuse me," I said "why is there no doctor tending to those children?"

"We have a shortage of doctors here, we don't have the time. We tend to the sickest ones first but we can't treat them all." The surgeon replied frustrated. I went back to the children, thinking about what I should do. These people needed my help and I wanted to stay and give them that help. I knew Siobhan and Liam would not want to stay in this village for any length of time, they liked to travel. I could stay and help these people but I would lose my only friends. I sighed as I realized that it didn't matter, helping those in need is who I am. I walked over to the nearest bed and started tending to the child laying there.

Siobhan and Liam arrived at the hospital several hours later; they had followed my scent here.

"Carlisle, what are you doing? Were leaving soon." Siobhan said.

"These people need my help." I answered sadly. I didn't want to leave my only friends but the humans needed me.

"You're not coming with us." She said. My face fell as I heard her say the words. "It's alright; I know this is who you are. This won't be the last time we see each other though." She said confidently. Siobhan walked over to me and hugged me for a moment. Then her and Liam turned and walked away out of the hospital. I felt my eyes sting as I watch my only friends leave, but I kept repeating her words in my head 'this won't be the last time we see each other.' I would have to make sure that was true.


End file.
